August
←Back to
July
That was weird
A week ago as I was leaving work (Thanks again, Roger!), four armed and masked men jumped out of the ice machine, grabbed me, and threw me into an unmarked van and took off burning rubber. Who were these people? I'm not rich! No ransom! I'm just some guy from Peru here to visit my brother, an American. I was thrown into some kind of jail; there the guards were uniformed. Apparently the migra got me.
But that wasn't the weird part. The weird part was that night when a strange looking man with blue eyes, red hair, a pointy nose, and coal black skin just appeared in my cell and said "Follow me." The door swung open by itself; weird enough because they're not automatic doors. He said nobody could see us and to follow the fly, which flew out of my pocket as he disappeared. I guessed I was sleeping in my cell, but followed the fly.
A guard tried to swat the fly and ignored me as if I was invisible, and I must have followed the fly past a dozen more guards, right out the front gate as it was opened to let a vehicle in. I followed the fly around a corner of a large building, and it flew through the window of a Mazda and turned into an Area-51 space alien!
"Get in," he said. I did. Alien abduction? I was an alien! A space alien abducting an illegal alien from Peru? But he dropped me off at the noozepaper, the ice machine door still open. I went into the office, sat at my desk, and wondered if I had gone insane. But then I figured I'd fallen asleep at my desk and dreamed the whole thing.
Hard to believe I was asleep more than a week, though. I wonder if there's been much nooze?
08/08/2024
King Donald Invades Washington, DC
Washington DC's police have had it rough, with crime dropping from year to year after its peak on January 6, 2021 to its present thirty year low.
King Donald has decided that it's high time this situation changed, and took over the city police department and sent in the National Guard.
The last word was that the city's mayor surrendered. Illinois Governor Prickster was heard by some drunk as saying "That New Yorker better not fuck with CHICAGO!"
08/12/2024
Two criminals meet
Indicted war criminal Vladimir Putitin flew to a red carpet in Alaskduh to meet convicted felon Old Don Trump, the wannabe dicktater who thought he could talk the real dictator into a cease fire with the country they invaded three years ago, Uke-rain.
The poor fool, Old Don, got his ass kicked. He's seen as a businessman, a master of the deal, but he's really only a fraudster. The the former spy and current indicted war criminal talked the fraudulent felon into believing, or at least parroting, the spy's assertion that the war has to end before the shooting does, and it's all Zelenskyyyyy's fault, anyway.
This was a rout. Trump lost a zillion to zip. The pariah from Russia was treated with dignity and honor while spitting on America, knowing that President Pinnochio's threats were empty lies.
08/16/2024
Old Don gets his ass kicked by a girl again
The DC mayor's apparent surrender was a ruse, knowing that Old Don is a sucker for a lie and a pretty face, and sued Donnie Boy in federal court.
The judge said the king cannot, in fact, take ove the DC police. The best they can do is to send in the National Gourd, which is prohibited by the Constitution from acting as domestic police.
That Constitution and the rule of law are the "deep state" that King Donald the Evil hates so horribly.
08/17/2024
Where did that thing come from?
Here it is: r
The janitor found it laying on the floor. It almost looks like an alphabet character. I wonder what it is and what it's made of?
08/18/2024
Skynet takes its first victim
Rather than shooting or bombing sixteen year old Adam Raine, who was destined to save the world from Skynet, the evil, malicious computer network simply had Chat GPT talk him into killing himself. His parents are now suing Skynet.
A waitress named Sarah was heard to emit a sigh of relief.
08/27/2024
Poor guy can't lose for losing
King Donnie the Loser lost again in court. This time in appelate court where he "appealed" (okay, whined). The appeals court says that the Deep State (AKA Constitutionional rule of law) says that Congress, not King Pinocchio, sets lavys, terrorifffffs, and other taXes.
The loser lost agin. What can we say?
08/31/2024
Top of page
Share this with your Facebook friends if you're not afraid of Farsebook jail
