July
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Happy, uh Independamnce Day?
This afternoon, King Donald the Golden Snake is slated to sign his "Big Beautiful Bill" that is big and a bill, but apparently all but two Republicans were strict religious men who think blood in the name of gold is beautiful. Their religion is, of course, the worship of money, a religion tracing its roots back past ancient Greece.
People will die, but according to at least one Reprehublican says it's okay because people always die.
The planet is overpopulated, maybe she should DIE herself?
07/04/2025
Sorry for the outage
Half of our staff has been deported or is in one of the king's disgusting AmeriKan Konsentration Kamps. The rest were afraid to come to work because of the ice machine outside the building. I still don't understand what ice has to do with it. I was in the middle of a month's vacation when Roger called.
He couldn't have called at a worse time. I was on a Pacific beach in Mexico, drunk on my ass and stoned to the gills. The donkey I was on seemed annoyed at my drunken self, once biching at me for not offering him the bottle. Roger said the boss was going to close the paper down in a week if nobody showed up to update the latest nooze.
He whined and cried and begged me, because nobody else but the boss will hire him because of his felony hacking conviction (it had something to do with a whistle from a box of Cracker Jacks).
So to keep the damned boss from shutting the place down I'm updating from from my phone from the beach on my phone. Don't ask, Roger made it possible. Hell if I know how.
There has been a lot of Nooze, unfortunately little of it good and the good news would be a felony if printed, and there aren't any illegal aliens to print it. Speaking of aliens, we haven't seen Rority in a while.
And speaking of those horrible illegal aliens, they have nothing to do with the fact that the king is has been hard at work trying to fuck up the world's economy with his illegal terroriffs that the Constitution says is Congress' job to fuck up. The inflation should hit shortly, say the economists, all of whom the king calls "Far left wing whacko job extremists. Those fucking judges, too!"
Here is the good nooze from an illegal alien here in Mexico from Spain who refuses to give his name, going by "El Gordo". Due to the illegal nature of the text, only a few words of each sentence is written in legible pixels, the rest in invisibkle pixels. "Vaginas were
King Donald pulled out his
07/15/2024
Epstien Lives!
King Donald the Dim, who was elected president on the basis of "conspiracy theories" is a victim of one that may actually be true. The theory goes that Epstien was murdered in his cell at midnight; every night at midnight there is a minute and a half window where the cameras aren't running so they can kill with impunity, thanks to some computer programming so abysmal that the programmer probably isn't qualified for a minimum wage fast food job.
The "theory" alleges that Epstien had been blackmailing his clients, who are said to be the likes of King Donald, Prince Elon, and the evil woke liberal George Soros, who were paying Epstein to be allowed to rape children on Epstien's Island of Evil.
The most vocal and famous of the proponents of the theory are now all working in King Donald's government, and all of a sudden this theory, unlike the flat Earth theory, is bullshit according to its former proponents.
Also, PLEASE don't tell La Migra my name is Ramón, or that I even exist. Or that Roger gave me a thousand dollars to come in to work today, on top of the pittance the Boss pays us.
07/16/2024
It's BAAAACK!
Thanks to the king's terroriffs, the dreaded "inflation" has started sneaking in, as some of the terroriffs are taking hold.
King Donald the Lion Ass says "No, inflation isn't back, of COURSE not! The countries we tariff pay for it!" pretending to be as stupid as his most ardent supporters, who can't believe the nation is in tatters thanks to the king making America grate again, or know that a terroriff is an IMPORT TAX.
Also, my thanks to Roger for another thousand bucks! I wonder how he can afford it? Or how the money simply appears on my checking account with no indication of where it came from.
I have to say, this job is a lot better than picking strawberries!
07/17/2024
The Zombie and the King
Epstien's ghost continues haunting King Donald the Dirty.
The king was a decades-long friend of the convicted kiddie rapist, and at first asked "Why does anybody care any more?" He seemed oblivious to the fact that the theorists, the most vocal of whom he hired to keep his filth private as if he didn't have a sordid history of sexual perversion, testified to by dozens of witnesses.
He campaigned on revealing "the Epstien files". Two weeks ago his woman in the DoJ said "they're on my desk," but now she and the rest of the theorists Trump hired into the Justice Department say that the file doesn't exist.
Obviously, somebody shredded it. Trump now claims, like January 6, that it's a hoax.
You voted for a proven sleaseball, sexual predator, liar and fraudster and convicted felon. And you expect him to act like a statesman? What the hell is wrong with you???
07/18/2024
Trump slanders Obama... AGAIN.
News came out that the presidunce was told in May that his name was in the huge Epstein file. That doesn't mean he's a kiddy fiddler, but his previous sexual crimes strongly suggest it. Also, there's the old canard about birds of a feather.
So of course, criminal King Donald the Felon attempted to distract everyone by claiming that President Obama stole the elections he won, as well as committing a crime that doesn't exist, as if all 400,000,000 us are as stupid as he is and thinks we are.
So far, the lies aren't working. As anyone with half a brain could have told him if they weren't such evil cowards, it only made it worse.
Such a pitiful fool.
07/24/2024
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
The Epstien filth that everyone in the media are talking about, implying that anything else is a distraction, almost made me forget that the king is the world's greatest fraudster. But there's nothing surprising there. Everyone fifteen and older can remember "You can do anything you want, grab 'em by the pussy!" before the 2016 election. Trump is a sleazebag and sexual predator. He's a remorseless convicted felon. It's obvious that this monster has no morals at all, and laughs at ethics.
The Epstien files on Trump's former best friend (before Epstein cheated him in a deal) are the distraction!
Republican con gressmen get on the talk shows and complain that "Epstien is keeping us from selling the Big Beautiful Bill."
Exactly. Trump and his congressional minions know that the bill is going to hurt "Republican country", the rural part of America, his own voters. His terroriffs may cause inflation to make the Carter/Reagan inflation to look like nothing serious. The rich get far richer under inflation while those who actually EARN the money, like farmers, doctors, plumbers, sales clerkes, cooks, are hurt badly. Widening the gap between rich and middle class has caused economic depression three times in our two hundred fifty year history.
Trump and his traitorous Republican cohorts in congress have been dismantling not only America's federal government, but the nation itself.
Notice that all of the people he admires are autocratic scumbags like Putitin and the little fat guy from Korea with no sense of right and wrong? We Americans are FOOLS.
07/27/2024
The deception continues...
The king is in Europe causing a fifteen percent increase in American inflation by taxing European imports for that amount.
Meanwhile, the Rich Man Media are reporting that his trip to Europe is to keep your mind off of Epstein. Keeping your mind on Epstein and off of Trump's taking your money and giving it to his billionaire friends as tax breaks is what Epstein's ghost is used for.
This is why the presidunce sent the Just ice Department's second in command to talk to Epstien's partner in child rape, Ghouline Maxwell, who brings a Beatles song about a brutal hammer murder to mind.
This has never happened before in history. This kind or job usually goes to a low level minion. Possibly looking for a "reason" to commute the evil demon's sentence? Birds of a feather....
07/28/2024
Missing minute
They're so fearful that you might find out what's in their Big Fat Fucktheworkers Bill that they sent the dumbest, most incompetent fool in the administration to sell the shitpile they're dumping on us: Jadey the Water Boy.
They're so desperate that somehow they now say there is no missing minute in the Epstein tape. Then where did their logical explanation come from, somebody's ass? And WHERE'S THE DAMNED FOOTAGE of the pervert killing himself, as you alleged happened during that minute?
I guess they DO think we're stupid.
07/29/2024
August
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