May
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King Don the Grate strikes again
King Donald the Heartless released a budget proposal Friday calling for a mix of cuts to domestic programs involving public health, education and clean energy, while seeking to increase spending on a bigger military.
The proposal contains a twenty three percent cut, $163 billion, in funding that currently benefits Americans, and a thirteen percent increase in military spending to benefit the filthy rich bastards like himself.
Such great logic! We have the worlds worst and most expensive healthcare, so cut the budget for health. Our education system is one of the world's worst, so of course its funding should be slashed. The climate is changing rapidly due to global warming, so cut funding on the environment. We have a bigger military than the next five largest militaries combined, so drastically increase the military budget! Brilliant!
Of course his rubber stamp Rethuglicans will pass it.
05/02/2024
Catholics have a new pope!
When a pope kicks the bucket, they vote on a new one, locked up. They stay there smoking black dope, and when they decide who the next pope will be, they smoke white stuff.
Today's smoke signified that Pope Bob from Chicago was voted Holy Somethingorother. Bob, also known as "Leo" had been living in Peru and had become a Peruvian citizen.
05/08/2024
Sorry we're late
Three of our editors were deported to some prison in the badly named "El Salvadore" (Spanish for "The Savior"). One was born in Chicago, but the king says it's okay because Illinois is woke.
But that's not why we're late, we can always find illegal aliens to hire dirt cheap and not have to worry about shit like taxes. No, Roger was arrested again. He was with that mayor that got busted for inspecting a federal building in his city. Our servers are working again, Rority got him out of jail. They won't miss him as fucked up as they are with paperwork.
But the king is in Crater or some place, and the Clown Prints of Qrater wants him to have a half a billion dollar bugged airplane, and the king says "Cool!"
When asked about the emoulient clause, he said "That's deep state bullshit. We just ignore it now that we're in charge."
05/14/2024
Trump's Golden Dome
King Dufus the Prez wants something for the US like Israel's "Iron Dome." He calls it "Golden Dome", probably since it would cost half TRILLION dollars while he's cutting billions from Medicaid.
Gold is ironically one of the weakest metals in existance.
05/21/2024
Trump's bill passes House
King Donald the Antoinette's budget he calls his "Big Beautiful Bill" that slashes public health, education and clean energy and balloons our already giant military passed the House of Represensibles today, winning by one vote. All Democraps, and three MAGATs were too sickened by the travesty to vote in favor of the odius piece of shit that cuts the taxes of those who already have too much money at the expense of an awful lot of people being denied health care and dying.
It has to be passed in the Sin Ate and signed by the king to become law. Let's hope the Sin sees it for the sickening joke it is.
05/22/2024
For Sale: Pardons and commutations
King Donald the Corrupt is giving pardons to anyone who has "won" a fortune illegally, especially from bribes, kickbacks, and his favorite, FRAUD. He has vended several pardons and commutations already; one had a several year sentance pardoned and the multi-million dollar fines commuted before the felon had left the courthouse.
All a pardon or commutation under the king takes is subjugation to him and his policies, and several million dollars. His friends get their pardons free.
05/28/2024
June
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